It was an early Monday morning. The Hudson River was like glass:

And the pickleball courts of suburbia had been as but untrodden by New Balances:

It was throughout this placid panorama that one semi-professional bike blogger pedaled a now-silent carbon and titanium racing bicycle:

I’m happy to report that the crank transplant I discussed yesterday has up to now confirmed to be successful. For one factor, the exterior backside bracket is noticeably stiffer than the ISIS unit it changed, and the advance in energy switch is straight away noticeable:

Simply kidding, after all, it’s a fucking crank. Nonetheless, it’s a lot quieter, and so it positively feels extra environment friendly–as a result of, as I’ve famous earlier than, sound most likely informs the best way our bicycles really feel much more than we understand or admit.

However sure, the crank ought to serve fairly properly–no less than till such a time as I prepare with Traditional Cycle for a long-term substitute with a degree of cachet befitting such a rarefied bicycle:

As an avowed Hollowtech II apologist, I’d say that with backside bracket already in situ, sliding a Dura-Ace 7800 in there could be the most straightforward and mechanically elegant answer, even when it’s not per the in any other case 7700 drivetrain.

In the meantime, final week I touched on the state of the biking trade, and it appears as if Rapha North America is the most recent sufferer of the latest downturn:

It’s simple accountable “post-COVID-19 market volatility:”

However within the case of Rapha I’m wondering if it’s just because they’ve been out-Rapha-ed by all these upstart manufacturers. As a solitary getting old loser, I do nearly all of my biking alone, and in locations most different individuals don’t trip. (To wit: suburbia within the early morning, see above.) Nonetheless, with a spiffy carbon-and-titanium Fred Sled underneath my auspices for the foreseeable future I’ve been steering myself onto the favored roadie routes on occasion these days, and so I see what These Youngsters At this time are carrying whereas out on the bike–they usually’re not carrying Rapha. No, Rapha’s what that Primal Cranken’ Stein jersey was once like 20 years in the past:

[Primal Crankin’ Stein jersey: the most Jewish-sounding cycling jersey produced by any company to date, second only to the Pedalin’ Lipschultz.]

Yeah, that’s proper; it was once that carrying Rapha marked you as a member of the biking cogacenti cognascenti cool individuals. However now it simply marks you as a noob. At this time, carrying Rapha in your street or gravel bike is only a notch or two above using in Sponeed half-shorts whereas sporting a pie plate:

No, at this time the new younger chamois-diapered jet-setters are carrying manufacturers like MAAP:

By the best way, if you happen to don’t know what MAAP stands for, you’re a loser like me, as a result of it doesn’t stand for something:

Properly shade me RWDDCed*.

*[Funnily enough, RWDDC doesn’t stand for anything, but I’m playing around with different meanings at the moment, and I kind of like “Riddled With ‘Da Douche Chills.”]

Anyway, if you happen to see a match younger bike owner clad in muted tones and hunched over an indistinguishable Canyon/Issue/S-Works/No matter, six occasions out of ten she or he will probably be carrying MAAP–which isn’t to say the clothes isn’t relatable. I imply, don’t you gown like this once you commute to work?

They’ve actually nailed their advertising too, as a result of every little thing about their fashions conveys the sheer pleasure of biking, and one take a look at them simply makes you need to hop on a motorbike:

He appears like he’s in the midst of a remedy session and he simply realized that the man who used to hold round the home quite a bit when he was within the sixth grade was having an affair together with his mom.

However MAAP is virtually Outdated Navy in comparison with Pas Regular Studios:

These are precise photographs from their “Alt” assortment:

And that is a picture from a latest Pas Regular “Alt” group trip:

Simply kidding:

That final one was the New York Dolls circa 1972.

However the different two had been completely actual

In any case, again within the Nineties there was a glance the media dubbed “heroin stylish:”

It was actually much less about heroin than it was about what occurs when consuming problems and being interested in minors collides, however in any case it was a distant reminiscence till Pas Regular determined to convey it again–for biking of all issues, which is a pursuit finest suited to the hale and hardy, not the wan and anemic:

She’s so despondent she’s permitting the contents of her water bottle to dribble throughout her proper foot. That is one thing no bike owner does regardless of how drained they’re.

Oh, and Pas Regular additionally has you lined off the bike with their “Fitness center and Coaching” assortment:

It’s the wardrobe of alternative for the weak and ineffectual one who can’t even get his pelvis up off the bottom when making an attempt a push-up.

Oh, and take a look at the fucking Youngsters of the Corn:

As you may see, on this advertising atmosphere, Rapha by no means stood an opportunity. Actually the one technique to one-up these firms is to mannequin your garments with precise cadavers.

Shit, I believe I simply designed Pas Regular’s 2025 assortment.