Issues could appear fairly chaotic lately right here in West Greenland, however we’ve acquired nothing on London, which is within the grip of “E-Bike Mayhem:”

The issue? A strike has introduced London’s tubular-shaped subterranean practice system to a halt, and now everyone’s preventing over Lime bikes:

“Securing a Lime bike on Tuesday morning was nearly as treasured as getting Taylor Swift Eras Tour tickets,” stated Barmby, who finally did discover a bike—just like the Eras ticket. “I’d say it’s an ideal week to be the CEO of Lime.”

London’s Tube drivers have been placing since Sunday over calls for for a shorter working week and higher pay. The strike is predicted to proceed till Friday morning. There was no service on the Underground, which normally hosts 4 million journeys a day. 

Shorter working week and higher pay? Ah, to be a public worker… In the true world that’s like strolling into Rivendell and demanding a Homer Hilsen fabricated from crabon. Additionally, I used to be underneath the impression everybody in London had at the very least one Brompton, however apparently not. Or perhaps they do however they by no means use them and so once they lastly pulled them out of their closets they couldn’t cope with the educational curve:

Anyway, subsequent you’ll inform me Londoners don’t all put on bowler hats and carry umbrellas and comport themselves in an orderly style always–oh, wait:

For these fortunate sufficient to discover a bike, a extra daunting problem awaits: navigating London roads. Infamous even at the perfect of instances for being unfriendly to cyclists, roads this week have been unruly. Bike lanes, which have quadrupled since 2016, are full of girls in heels and males in fits pedaling their means by means of the town. 

Taxi driver Alisson Viaria, 33, felt nervous driving across the metropolis with so many new cyclists on the roads. “Most individuals don’t cycle on a regular basis, so that they’re driving round like loopy,” he stated.

Pricey Lord, it’s the mom of all shoals!

Although I admit it’s really inspiring to see Freds, Bromptonauts, Lovely Godzillas, and e-bikers facet by facet in whole indifference.

Additionally, I witnessed each magnificent shoals and enthusiastic Cat 6-ing in London way back to 2011:

So I’ve little doubt they’ll survive this newest blitz.

In the meantime, right here within the land of alternative and the house of deranged entrepreneurship, any individual’s attempting to reinvent skilled biking once more:

So why isn’t professional biking a mainstream sport now? As a result of there aren’t actually “childhood growth pathways” for it:

Within the years since LeMond and Armstrong captured home audiences, different sports activities have strengthened and consolidated their maintain on the U.S. market – partly by means of improved public accessibility and established (usually publicly funded) childhood growth pathways. Each elementary faculty aged youngster is uncovered to and performs quite a lot of “video games” like baseball, soccer, and basketball, whereas observe and area is a staple of fitness center class actions; after-school packages join these kids into teaching, league play, and long-term participation. As compared, protected public areas for youths to find bicycle racing – in contrast to a basketball courtroom or a multi-use soccer and athletics area – are nearly non-existent within the U.S. at the moment, save for a only a few velodrome observe services. And the expense of apparatus wanted for aggressive biking has grow to be increasingly of a barrier to participation, usually inserting the game out of attain for youngsters in much less prosperous households.

That is true, which is why for those who’re trying to develop participation it is best to give your cash to a program like Star Monitor. However as an alternative they’re attempting to invent a totally new sort of motorcycle racing:

StadioBike is the most recent and most promising disruptor for shaking up U.S. biking. In response to its organizers – and demonstrated in a 2024 Las Vegas check occasion that featured Mark Cavendish – it’s a scaled-up model of the (Indiana College) Little 500 racing format made well-known by the Oscar-winning movie, Breaking Away. Occasions will likely be run on current motorsports racing tracks like these utilized in NASCAR and contested by as much as 30 groups of 5 to seven riders every, relying on the observe measurement, with two to 3 riders from every crew racing on the observe at any given second. Every crew should “substitute” riders for one another on the course a minimal variety of instances through a “pit cease” trade throughout the 60 or extra laps of the race. Whereas this may increasingly sound simple on paper, the format ensures that the tempo will all the time be excessive, push each rider to the restrict of their most energy, and require talent, top-end health, and a calculated technique that’s fairly completely different from street, trac, or criterium racing.

I visited the web site, and whereas they’re endeavoring to “disrupt” and “shake up” professional biking, it’s extra like watching somebody attempting to begin a fireplace with a guide of matches and a moist log:

Granted, they do promise equal pay for males…

And girls…

Although that’s simple to do if everybody’s getting paid like shit.

Additionally they implore you to “assume auto racing…”

“However for biking…”

It is a dangerous thought for 2 causes. First, everybody understands what a race is. Whether or not it’s automobiles or bikes or bikes or simply merely working it’s pretty self-explanatory. So there’s no cause to deliver one other sort of racing into it. They may as effectively say, “It’s like horse racing, solely the horse has two wheels as an alternative of 4 hooves, and pedals as an alternative of stirrups, and it’s not alive.”

Second, the chance of evaluating a motorbike race to a different much more well-liked sort of race is that it immediately makes the bike race appear boring. “Take the triple-digit speeds and uncooked horsepower and sheer visceral pleasure of auto racing after which eliminate it. Now you could have bike racing!” Not solely that, however they’re really holding the races on auto race tracks, so spectators will know precisely what they’re lacking. It’s like serving alfa sprouts in a McDonald’s french fry container.

It actually does appear astonishing that individuals maintain attempting to make professional biking occur in America, and once they do I can solely assume that both they’re attempting to launder cash, or else they’re attempting to spend as a lot cash as shortly as potential as a result of they’ve simply realized they’re the beneficiaries of an especially quirky property à la the film “Brewster’s Hundreds of thousands.” In any case, the panorama of American professional biking is affected by the stays of defunct races, groups, and promoters. Keep in mind Cross Vegas?

Or how concerning the Purple Hook Crit?

And what about Rock Racing?

And that’s not even addressing all of the erstwhile stage races:

Thought paradoxically the game of biking has produced extra US presidents than some other, so there’s that.

Nonetheless, prefer it or not, with regards to bike racing in America there’s just one sort that’s experiencing progress, and that’s the “G” phrase:

Don’t overlook to enter that lottery!

And you’ll even get publicity to gravel racing within the inventory market:

Appears to be like just like the Unbound course profile:

I’ll maintain all my cash in Chris King headsets.